Fergus Nash
Before buying a watch, it’s important to consider how it will fit into your life, as different watches may be more useful for some lifestyles than others. The oxymoron of the “desk diver” is a well-known metaphor for a diver’s watch worn for an office job, but what if your job is unconventional, to say the least? To answer the question no one has ever asked, I’ve compiled a list of the best watches for the weirdest jobs.
Professional Body Pillow – Swatch Red Shore
Professional hugging is exactly what it sounds like, but once you know what it’s for, it’s not as strange as it might seem at first. Hug therapy is a well-researched field with proven effectiveness that helps relieve symptoms of stress, anxiety, loneliness, and depression. Human contact is a basic need for our mental health, but some people may not experience it naturally. For about $80 per hour, you can hire a friendly person to hug you and chat or watch TV with you without any further expectations. The ideal watch for a professional hugger is one that’s small and free of sharp corners so that everyone is comfortable. That’s why the Swatch Red Shore, with its 34mm soft plastic case and rubber strap, is a great candidate.
Worm Picker – Timex Expedition Scout
If you’ve ever been to a bait and tackle store, you’ve probably seen a freezer full of worms and wondered how they got there. It’s not that surprising to hear that there are worm farms, but it’s pretty surprising to learn that worm-collecting teams harvest worms by hand. Often paid close to minimum wage, these heroes work hard from dusk until dawn to pack tubs of worms that emerge at night, then package them frozen or alive in small earthen containers for distribution. Given the low average salary and many hours working in the dark, the Timex Expedition Scout is the perfect choice. It’s rugged and reliable, making it suitable for outdoor work, and it comes with a washable NATO strap so you don’t have to worry about getting it dirty. The indigo backlight feature is also very useful, eliminating the need to rely on other sources of illumination.
Licensed Bank Robber – Luminox Original Navy Seals 3901
Also known as penetration testing, this profession is not so strange nowadays, dealing mainly with matters related to cybersecurity, keeping data safe from malicious hackers. While the idea of stealing money through a computer is not as romantic as sticking a drill press into a giant bank vault, there are still a few people who specialize in testing old-fashioned physical security measures. Even if they are given the express permission to thoroughly test a bank’s security, I’m sure they all have a heist movie hero in their mind. That’s why I recommended the Luminox Original Navy SEAL 3901 as the best watch for bank robbers, since it was worn by George Clooney in Ocean’s 11. If you want to try the dual watch look as well, you can pair it with a Hamilton Viewmatic.
Bike Fisherman – Omega Seamaster Professional
If you’ve ever lived or visited a riverside city, you know that unsecured bikes and scooters are at great risk of being thrown into the river by drunk passers-by. Amsterdam is a party town with a lot of avid cyclists and over 160 canals, so you can imagine that 12,000-20,000 bikes are thrown into the canals every year. It’s such a big problem that the city has its own bike fishermen to clean up the canals, essentially a giant crane game attached to a boat that pulls up the bikes in bundles. The bikes are then recycled and the aluminum is mainly used for drinks cans. Omega is the most popular brand in the Netherlands, so if you’re in a splashy environment, a Seamaster Professional would be the perfect choice. Fairly well-known as one of the weirdest jobs, these crane jobs often attract crowds of tourists, so you’ll want to look good for the camera.
Colour Specialist – Rado Les Couleurs Le Corbusier
A niche branched out from graphic design, color experts consult with companies and other designers to choose the best colors for logos, products, office spaces, and anything else you need. Color psychology is the study of hues that affect our moods, while color theory examines how our perception of color changes depending on the environment and situation. These two considerations are crucial when companies are trying to change the way people think, whether it’s to encourage people to buy their products or to maximize the efficiency of the workplace. A pioneer in this field of odd jobs is Swiss architect Charles-Edouard Jeanneret (aka Le Corbusier), who coined the concept of architectural polychromy. His carefully selected palette of 63 colors, divided into categories of vibrant, velvety, balanced, bold, powerful, expressive, bright, striking, and pure, became the basis for Rado’s Les Couleurs Le Corbusier collection. Incredibly thin and artfully beautiful, color experts can also collect all nine of the original colors in a box set.
